When A Marriage Crumbles

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no relationship expert. I am chronically single. But having processed plenty of divorces, I can absolutely spot when a relationship is on the rocks. I just finished watching this week’s episode of Married to Medicine: Los Angeles, and I am swimming in a range of emotions over everything Imani divulged. 

Again, I’m no expert, but when your spouse REFUSES to make time for you – they have likely checked out. Her husband picked up and moved to Oklahoma (of all places), to start a CBD business. It nearly took an act of Congress to get him to come back for monthly visits. When he was home he was distracted. When she offered to visit him, he was evasive and said he had a lot of work to do. I don’t care what the situation is, men are generally not going to go without sex if they don’t have to. His reluctance to ever see her was a huge red flag to me a couple episodes ago. 

Fast forward to today’s episode and we learn that Imani finally brought up “the D word.” Of course, anytime that word gets dropped into a marriage, the relationship shifts. The sad part in this case was that he didn’t put up an ounce of fight for the marriage. Not only did he not contest the idea … he asked her to box up his things and mail them to him. SCRATCH THE RECORD! Wait, WHAT?!? What a coward!!! 

Everything about this situation screams that when he walked out their door for Oklahoma he never intended to come back. He just wasn’t man enough to discuss his true feelings and intentions. To have the audacity to ask her to do his heavy lifting in this moment is such a slap in the face. And the worst part of it all is they have been raising her son together. He’s been Idris’ father figure since he was two … so over a decade. The message that now gets imbedded in this young man’s brain is when things get uncomfortable, you just sneak away.  

The way the whole situation unfolded just made my heart hurt. Of course things had been bad for a while but this end was so tragic. Everybody comes to their epiphany in their own time. I just hate to see scenarios when people waste time with people who make it clear they aren’t interested. I also hate the idea of stringing someone along and GHOSTING. These are just “ain’t shit” behaviors I can’t get onboard with. 

Imani has been open about her struggles with depression so I hope this doesn’t send her into a downward spiral. It must be odd to be a therapist that struggles with their own mental well-being. Or, maybe it’s common and we the general public just don’t get to see behind the veil. In any case I am wishing her and her son the best as they navigate these new waters. In the same breath I’m giving her “husband” a serious side eye.